After your dream wedding, you’re now officially Mrs. Someone. Your new life as a couple will start in a foreign country if you decided to follow your husband, which is usually the case.
There are many many adjustments we – the Indonesian wives have to deal with and here are just some fun list of things that you might face after you got married and supposedly moved to your husband’s foreign country:
- People will stare at you less: Ehm…remember those annoying stares you used to get in Jakarta (or Indonesia in general)? Well, the natives in your husband’s country won’t stare at you from head to toes – at least maybe not as obvious as Indonesian does.
- Housewife chores: Yes, my dear…chances are maids or domestic helpers will be way too expensive unlike back home in Indonesia. Get used to cleaning, cooking and doing everything independently!
- When strangers approached and tell you “Nice, shoes!” or “Pretty dress!” they actually genuinely meant the compliment so take it and stop getting suspicious! You’re not in Jakarta where I’d question if that person have any hidden agenda or trying to hypnotize me.
- Snows are pretty. First time in the snow? Don’t worry about your spouse making fun of how you walk…since there is no snow in Indonesia. Bundle up…and Chapstick is your best friend!
- You will crave Indonesian foods and if your spouse can’t stomach too much of them, chances are you will be sneaking to cook it while he’s at work and raised your shoulder pretend not knowing why your whole house smells like terasi (shrimp paste) or better yet ikan asin (salty fish). — thanks God I never have to do this but I heard stories from friends that they had to opened all windows so the smell evaporates!
- Get used to people asking if you’re from the Philippines and some won’t even know where Indonesia is just tell them South East Asia, unless of course you have the time to explain that Indonesia is not in Bali.
- If you are tiny itty bitty Indonesian lady, chances are you will find their clothing sizes too big but don’t worry they do have size 0! If you’re not itty bitty like myself – consider yourself lucky! You’ll find clothes that fit you perfectly.
Cool post! A lot of my friends from Central America are always amazed that even really wealthy people don’t have housekeepers because it’s so expensive. In Mexico my family down there had drivers, gardeners, a maid, & a cook. They were shocked when I told them I didn’t have anyone like that!
Kate´s last [type] ..You Know Youre a Mom When
Thanks, Kate! Yeah here just about every family have at least one housekeeper or far relatives that comes from the village to helps out so it’s a shocker for some to be fully independent
Yes, that’s quite an adjustment. The house chores was not a big shock for me since I had lived in the US for years before my marriage, that’s when I met him, when we’re doing our Masters program. Even though back then I was just responsible for my tiny apartment, so much different from taking care of a house and….. kids
Hahaha thanks for our ‘single’ days independent huh!
I might add one important point for those who move to not-english-speaking-country. Be able to learn the native lingo as much as you can do. You don’t have to be perfect but you should show the ppl that you’re capable. It will help you a lot to survive, confidence and enjoy living in your new country and somehow – at least in my case – proud.
Mindy´s last [type] ..KBB Challenge 17- Savory Bake
Totally agree with you, Mindy! This is a fun list but I’ll talk more it in a serious tones next week
You are so cool to speaks 4 languages, girl!
Great post, yen. Good thing I’m not a huge fan of terasi (I eat it in tiny amount) and my DH likes most of Indonesian foods. House chores wasn’t a big shock for me since I never had any maids back in Indonesia. My big shock was more of living in a rural area when I first moved here (okay, it wasn’t rural by U.S. standard…it’s more of my standard:))
Other unimportant thing, I notice that people here (east coast) tend to know Indonesia more than those people when I lived in south. One person even convinced that she could ride a bicycle to reach Jakarta.
Heidi´s last [type] ..Hi Fructose and New Painting
Thanks Heidi. OMG that bike comment really crack me up hahahaha.
very cool post! If we ever go to Jakarta, I will make sure to compliment lots of gals. Just to think we are messing with them. lol
Kerry´s last [type] ..Guest Post- Gigi from KludgyMom
LOL Kerry! Thanks girl! Most mix couple here…well the girls will get a stare from head to toes and sometimes with a mockery look.
This is a great post! I can’t imagine having maids…that would be SO nice
Thank you Tanya! Having them around sure helps too bad I still haven’t find one LOL.
Ha- Ha on the size zero – that describes our friend Ellis to the t. I think she can actually fit into her four-year-old daughters jacket! Wonderful post. Thanks for the insight.
Nami´s last [type] ..Dont Be A Barnacle Mom
Thanks, Nami! Oh you should see the look on my face when I first went shopping in the States and actually fit on something that labeled “Small” when back home I was a Large hahaha.
I have always enjoyed reading about differences in cultures. Funny or serious. I’ve been thinking about asking you if you’d write something for Our Mommyhood about differences in motherhood between cultures. Let me know!
liz´s last [type] ..DIY Before -38 After- Main Floor Bath
Thank you Liz, I would love to do that. Will email you tonight when it’s less chaotic here lol
Oh I LOVE these posts! I find them SOO interesting! I know almost nothing about any of the Asian countries and I feel like I learn so much more from you than I ever could anywhere else! I can’t even imagine having a housekeeper. I feel like over half my stress would completely be alleviated!
Katie´s last [type] ..Winner- Winner- Zoup for Dinner-
Katie, thanks you so much, girl!
I’m planning to make a series out of this post about being in a mix marriage and even have my husband to agree on ‘contributing’ hahaha.
I still don’t have a housekeeper right now but been trying to find one but I guess I’m just too paranoid LOL.
Well, I didn’t marry a foreigner but I am living in a Foreign Country, so this post applies to me as well.
But yeah, when I first came here, I didn’t even know how to cook rice, not even with a rice cooker. My boyfriend (now husband) thought I was a total spoiled brat, which i was, cos I’ve never ever washed my own clothes. And I was 25 at the time.
Now, I’m a domestic goddess, I can easily do everything in a very short period of time.
So funny how things change, but I am so much happier being me now than me back in Jakarta who was so conceited and vain, and yes, a spoiled brat with countless maids, drivers and security guards at her beck and call.
I learned to cook rice from living in ‘kost’ aka boarding houses in Jakarta but yeah I’d rather buy take outs hahaha.
You might have to teach me, now that we’re back in Jakarta I only cook when I feel like it or when I crave for something that I can’t have delivered.
Kudos to you to become a domestic goddess and I bet your cooking is delicious
Now I’m struggling not to let our boy become a spoil brat with all the helps he sees around us and with how people are just all over him and try to please him (talk about another post idea?!)
Thanks, girl!
My mum was in shock when I told her that I cook now, do my own laundry, clean up the house and do domestic stuff because she never teach me to do those stuff. Sam is the one who taught me to use the washing machine lol.
Ecky´s last [type] ..Make the best out of it